Tuesday, 9 February 2016

Keeping The Surprise

I decided early on in this pregnancy that I wouldn't find out the sex of the baby. We found out last time with Paloma, but I thought it would be exciting to have that huge surprise on the delivery day. Some people say they want to know so they can be prepared (and I thought the same way last time myself) but now I know how easy it is to send Andino to pick up baby clothes while I'm waiting to be discharged from the hospital. Pretty much everything else we need can be gender neutral, so I don't feel the need to prepare. Growing up, I always imagined that moment when the baby comes out and the Doctor says "it's a....!!" it must be so exciting and I want to experience it myself. 

Andino wanted to know. He was fine if I insisted on keeping it a surprise but he was gently encouraging me to find out. We had the Harmony test done a few weeks ago and we could have found out then but I chose not to. We had the anatomy scan done this morning and it was the last opportunity to find out before the birth, so if I could succeed in resisting today, I'd keep the big surprise. However, on the way to the ultrasound Andino kept asking "so are you going to find out? Do you think it's a boy or girl?" I told him I still hadn't decided yet.

The ultrasound felt like it took forever. Last time, the screen was angled so I could still see it while she took the measurements but this time the screen was facing so far away I couldn't peek. I just stared at the ceiling and everyone was silent. Eventually she showed us the baby's face and it was incredible. It's hands were up by the face and at one point the baby opened its mouth wide and maybe took a big drink? It feels so much more real now that I've gotten a glimpse of the little one. She asked if we wanted to know the sex and I said yes. I couldn't resist the temptation! But when she tried to see, the baby had its legs closed and wouldn't move them, so we were able to keep the surprise afterall. 

I haven't taken any bump shots yet but I am planning to make a tab at the top to keep track of the second half of the pregnancy. I know the next 20ish weeks will be the biggest change and it will be fun to track it. 

Thursday, 4 February 2016

Adoption Update

When Andino and I first looked into adoption, we first considered domestic adoption. We asked around (because it was hard to find concrete information online) and were told that it was an estimated 7 year wait for an infant adoption! We definitely didn't feel able to wait that long, so we decided to pursue international adoption. If you have been following my blog for a while, you'll know that we had the worst luck in adoption. We first looked into adopting from Colombia, but then that program closed. Then we looked into adoption from Democratic Republic of Congo, but that closed as well.  Finally, we looked into adopting from Kenya, but before we could send our application to the agency, that program closed as well. It was such a frustrating time for us, as you can imagine. In between pursuing adoption, we had two failed cycles of IVF. Finally, we decided to move on and as you probably know, we were successful in becoming parents through IUI.

I still feel passionate about adoption and it's hard for me to imagine giving up my dream of having children through adoption. The cost of international adoption is definitely out of reach now, but I thought I'd call the Adoption Support Centre of Saskatchewan to get a real understanding of the domestic process. I figure if it's so many years until the opportunity would present itself to be placed with a baby, maybe it's a good idea to start the process now. They gave me some good information and now I understand the process much better than before.

One thing I didn't know before, but I thought was great is that the prospective birth parents choose the adoptive parents (together with the caseworker). It would be an open adoption, which is definitely what we are looking for. There were only 14 babies placed through this process last year, so that's why it's such a long wait. There's even a 2 year wait between applying and actually making it into the pool of prospective adoptive parents the prospective birth moms look at. Which is why I wanted to start now, but they said I'm not allowed to start until my baby is a year old. Then, it would be a 2 year wait to get to the waiting stage (which could potentially be years too).

Some other things she mentioned:

  • Many more babies are adopted by their foster parents than through this process. However, Saskatchewan doesn't have a foster-to-adopt program and you are discouraged from entering into foster care with the hopes of adopting, as the whole point of fostering is to give the birth parents the opportunity/time to get to a place where they can parent. 
  • Three times as many babies are placed through independent/direct adoption, but we are not allowed to advertise our interest in adoption by creating a waiting parent profile or by any other means. 
I guess we have plenty of time to think about what to do next, as I'm pregnant and the baby would have to be a year old before we are allowed to start the process, but I'm glad I contacted them and got the information. 

p.s. I think I fixed the photo problem in my last post 

Wednesday, 3 February 2016

Paloma Update and Photos

I think it's safe to say that Paloma is in the terrible twos. She definitley has no problem saying no, and asserting her will. She insists on putting on her own shoes and socks, hates having her diaper changed with a passion (potty training can't come soon enough!) hates her winter jacket & car seat. She loves to cook and will sit on the kitchen counter for an hour or more if she's allowed to help us stir, measure and pour ingredients and wash the dishes. She also loves to go grocery shopping and refuses to sit in the cart. Instead, she walks around with her own hand basket and I put the lighter items in hers and the heavier in mine. She loves to read books, play with her doll and the dogs. She often asks for Lola (LALA!) as soon as she wakes up/gets home from daycare. 

She sleeps in a big girl bed and she does quite well in it. In our new house, the master bedroom used to be two bedrooms, but the wall was taken down to create one huge room. She sleeps in her double bed on one side and I sleep in mine on the other. Sometime between 2:00 -5:00 every morning I hear "Mom? Mom?" (always twice) and I say "I'm coming!" She wants me to lay down with her in her bed to put her back to sleep, but I usually take her into my bed so I can get back under the covers. She sleeps without a blanket and I get too cold laying there. I think I'll start leaving myself a blanket on the floor next to her bed to use from now on because she usually gets pretty mad when I pick her up to bring her to my bed. It's great that she loves her own bed so I should encourage her to stay there. 

She does really well in daycare. They do a lot of crafts there, which I know she loves and the teachers say she is very helpful. I miss her terribly while I'm away from her, even though I know she is fine. I am really looking forward to being on maternity leave again so I can be home with my girl. 

Some recent photos:

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