Friday, 7 August 2015

Working Mom

Well, I'm officially a working Mom. It's hard to believe. In some ways, I slipped back into my old routines in the office like I never left and in other ways, things feel completely different. Not much work-related has changed in my absence, but being back has made me realize just how much I've changed. There's the obvious change in that I am no longer suffering and dreaming about becoming a mother. But there are other subtle changes that I can't quite put my finger on, but I've been thinking about a lot.

I feel like I am living in a way which is more true to my real self than I have been for a while. I feel balanced and I no longer waste massive amounts of personal energy worrying about things that are out of my control. I spend my time working on and thinking about things that are meaningful to me. I've been reading good books, eating good food, spending quality time with my family... I feel like I'm really owning 30.

Life is good right now.

But it's so hard to leave Paloma at daycare. She cries so hard as soon as I take her out of the car seat and she sees where we are. She clings on hard and doesn't want me to hand her off to the staff. They tell me that she's always a happy girl there though, and she only cries during drop off and when she sees other parents coming and going (she's one of the last to be picked up at close to 5:00) On Tuesday this week, she napped for an hour and a half in the crib. What the What? She hasn't done that for me in ages. The only way I can get her to nap that long is if I'm laying down with her or if she's in the stroller or car. But then on Wednesday she wouldn't nap at all. She's never done that in her life, so needless to say she was pretty unhappy that evening. She'll adjust eventually. She'll only be going 4 days a week and I'm so appreciative of the fact that Andino and I were able to arrange our work schedules like that.

I had to be honest with my boss about trying for a baby again. I just wouldn't have been able to keep making up lies and/or being vague about why I would be needing so much sick time. I'll need to do at least one ultrasound a month (this time I did two) and then a whole day off to drive up to the clinic and back for the IUI. So I told her the truth, but assured her I'd work hard for her while I'm here and reminded her that it could take a few tries until I get pregnant. She seemed to be totally cool with it.

Andino's away with his band for 10 days and I'm missing him already. Of course it's nice to have his help around the house but I also miss having him around. My sister in law will be coming with me to the clinic on Monday for the IUI. I wasn't sure whether or not to bring Paloma because it's a lot of driving, but in the end I decided I wanted to bring her. Obviously I want to spend as much time with her as possible, but also because now I won't have to rush back in time to pick her up from daycare.

So please send me good vibes on Monday. I really hope getting baby #2 won't be as long and drawn out as baby #1 was!


  1. Welcome to the world of the working mom. It's an adventure all its own.

    I'm sorry that dropping Paloma off has been stressful. I see something similar with the kids I work with. They're always happy 6 minutes after mom leaves. Doesn't make it easier to leave, but reassuring.

    Fingers crossed for Monday!

  2. Glad things are going well at work and u were able to be honest with your boss about what's going on. Less stress on you trying to come up with excuses. Goodluck on Monday hope baby #2 is on his/her way soon.

  3. I left a comment but Google or my phone ate it!!
    Sending you lots of prayers and good vibes a successful cycle!! Can you share, were you able to use the same donor as with Paloma? Or any of your insight into that part of your cycle/clinic experience??

    1. I sent you an email, did you get it?

  4. Good luck tomorrow! I can't believe you guys are going for #2...where does the time go??

  5. My best thoughts and wishes are with you today!

  6. Hope everything went well today! Paloma will get used to the schedule and to daycare and start to love it!

  7. Hope the IUI went smoothly! You sound so well for how much is going on in your life right now. It's interesting to read your daycare experience as we are scouring out places now for part time beginning in Oct.

  8. Oh my gosh! I'm just reading this!!! I hope things went well love!

  9. Sending you so much luck!!! E used to cry at drop off sometimes-- she was used to the place as she had been going since 10 weeks old (so sad), but still became upset on clingy days. But... she'd stop crying as soon as I left the building. I know because they would text me pictures! Can the daycare teachers send you pictures or updates via text occasionally? I know that always helped me feel better. And I really do think daycare is great for them. I'm sending E back 1-2 days a week starting in September.

  10. It sounds like you and Paloma are doing well. From the outside looking it it sounds like the daycare transition is going alright (nobody would expect it to be easy all the time). It's very reassuring to hear that most of the time she likes it there. Glad that you are enjoying your life right now! I agree about the subtle changes; I was thinking something similar the other day. Not having a child meant there was a constant note of sadness in everything.

  11. Gah, I'm just now catching up on all your summer activities!!! whoo hoo for #2!!! How exciting, I have my fingers crossed that it is an easy journey the second time around for sure. Paloma is just a freakin doll! I am sorry you have to go back to work but be so glad you got an entire year...americans have no such luxury (or basic human/women's rights as I see it!) I am going to be making more of an effort to keep up with you beautiful girls! xoxo

  12. I am super behind in of reading. Wow. I'm sure by now you know whether the IUI worked or not. Hoping for good news from you soon. I think being honest with your boss is a good idea. It will be less stressful for you and not such a shock to her when you tell her you are pregnant. Glad she is understanding.
    Also hoping Paloma has adjusted to daycare. i see plenty of kids cry when their moms drop them off then the mon leaves and they are perfectly fine about a minute later. It's still heartbreaking. We're at the point where they don't want to leave daycare. SH picks them up when they are in the middle of playing and they always want to stay. At least I know they are happy there.

  13. Hi Erin...just checking in. Hope you have received some very good, exciting news and are doing well! Miss you!


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