Friday, 7 August 2015

Working Mom

Well, I'm officially a working Mom. It's hard to believe. In some ways, I slipped back into my old routines in the office like I never left and in other ways, things feel completely different. Not much work-related has changed in my absence, but being back has made me realize just how much I've changed. There's the obvious change in that I am no longer suffering and dreaming about becoming a mother. But there are other subtle changes that I can't quite put my finger on, but I've been thinking about a lot.

I feel like I am living in a way which is more true to my real self than I have been for a while. I feel balanced and I no longer waste massive amounts of personal energy worrying about things that are out of my control. I spend my time working on and thinking about things that are meaningful to me. I've been reading good books, eating good food, spending quality time with my family... I feel like I'm really owning 30.

Life is good right now.

But it's so hard to leave Paloma at daycare. She cries so hard as soon as I take her out of the car seat and she sees where we are. She clings on hard and doesn't want me to hand her off to the staff. They tell me that she's always a happy girl there though, and she only cries during drop off and when she sees other parents coming and going (she's one of the last to be picked up at close to 5:00) On Tuesday this week, she napped for an hour and a half in the crib. What the What? She hasn't done that for me in ages. The only way I can get her to nap that long is if I'm laying down with her or if she's in the stroller or car. But then on Wednesday she wouldn't nap at all. She's never done that in her life, so needless to say she was pretty unhappy that evening. She'll adjust eventually. She'll only be going 4 days a week and I'm so appreciative of the fact that Andino and I were able to arrange our work schedules like that.

I had to be honest with my boss about trying for a baby again. I just wouldn't have been able to keep making up lies and/or being vague about why I would be needing so much sick time. I'll need to do at least one ultrasound a month (this time I did two) and then a whole day off to drive up to the clinic and back for the IUI. So I told her the truth, but assured her I'd work hard for her while I'm here and reminded her that it could take a few tries until I get pregnant. She seemed to be totally cool with it.

Andino's away with his band for 10 days and I'm missing him already. Of course it's nice to have his help around the house but I also miss having him around. My sister in law will be coming with me to the clinic on Monday for the IUI. I wasn't sure whether or not to bring Paloma because it's a lot of driving, but in the end I decided I wanted to bring her. Obviously I want to spend as much time with her as possible, but also because now I won't have to rush back in time to pick her up from daycare.

So please send me good vibes on Monday. I really hope getting baby #2 won't be as long and drawn out as baby #1 was!
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