Friday, 17 April 2015

Followups

Things have been going well around here lately. I feel like a lot of my recent posts have been about challenges I've been facing (actually I think mostly everything I write is about that...) so I thought I'd give everyone a little update on things.

I wrote before about how we are reluctantly bed sharing. That's still going on, although less reluctantly now. I know this is only a temporary thing, so I've chosen to embrace the closeness we have at this stage in her life. I also wrote about night weaning and my hopes that getting Paloma to take in more calories during the day and off the boob at night would lead to more sleep for the whole family. I asked for your advice in how to go about night weaning and JustMe commented that she started slowly with 11:00 pm and added time as her little guy got used to it, so that was our game plan. We also really focused on doing everything we could to get Paloma to eat solids during the day which has been going amazingly well. Andino has been feeding her the majority of the time she's not feeding herself and she's been eating like a champ! I don't know if it's because her Dad is feeding her or because she's just feeling better now, but I'm SO glad she's finally getting some solids. It has made a huge difference in her night wakings.

I nurse her to sleep around 7 or 7:30, and she's up again around 8:30 or 9:00. I rock her back to sleep and she goes back down very easily. I'm usually out of her room within 10 minutes. Andino and I go to bed around 10:00 p.m. (party animals, I know!) and Paloma wakes up any time between 11:00 and 1:00. I bring her into my bed at that time and for the first few days I nursed her back to sleep but now I've cut that nursing session out as well. She sleeps through until 5:45 - 6:00 am with no wake ups to nurse. So we are down to only two wake ups as compared to like, a million before. One of the nights, instead of bringing her into my bed at midnight, I put her back in her crib and she slept until 4:30 but I was wide awake for over an hour after getting her back to sleep. I totally wake up when I go into her room in the middle of the night. I end up lying there awake while everyone else is enjoying their deep slumber and it makes me really angry, so I prefer to bring her into my bed for now. 

Did you read Mel's post Free Range Parenting and Helicopter Children? She said 
"I don’t have a lot of respect for parenting movements because parenting is actually not about the parents.  It’s about the children.  I have a lot more respect for people who say they don’t have a parenting philosophy but instead look at the children they have and parent them in a way that meets their individual needs.  And that means that every child in the house may be parented differently since they have different needs."

I loved that. It made me feel better about bed sharing with Paloma, even though it's not the parenting style I planned to have. It's the parenting style that Paloma needs right now (and allows the whole family to be well rested.)

As for naps, well they are still on the short side usually. I'm really trying not to stress about them and enjoy the last few months I have with her until she goes to daycare. A few times a week I make sure she naps in her crib instead of in my bed, the wrap or the stroller, just so it's not a gigantic transition at daycare. I'm making a big effort not to nurse her to sleep for her naps anymore. (I nurse her upon waking instead.) I still totally love when she falls asleep in the wrap though and it will probably be the thing I miss the most when I don't have babies anymore.

In other news, I told you that I was talking about #2 with my Doctor, but I didn't update you on how that went. Basically, she referred us back to the fertility clinic where Paloma was conceived. The referral is good for a year so there's no rush to start treatment right now (and I couldn't anyway because I'm still on maternity leave). The big take away from the appointment is that I have to wean Paloma before we try again. Well, I don't have to, but she said it would give us our best chance at conceiving so of course that's what we'll do. I'm not in any rush to wean her. I was really hoping the process would happen naturally once she's in daycare and we're apart more often (less boob temptation!) and she's taking in more solids. I'm pumping almost everyday so I can have lots of milk in the freezer for when I do wean her. She's recently started to drink milk from her cup  so it's not a matter of the boob being the only way she will take milk, it's more of a comfort thing. I've tried to get her to love a stuffed animal or blanky for comfort, but so far no luck.

Checking out the grocery delivery

Feeding her doll (in her dress made by me!!)
Playing with her cereal

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7 comments:

  1. She's so cute!

    I think weaning will start naturally once you go back to work, especially since she's been eating so well. That's great news, by the way! I know for me, I feel such a sense of accomplishment and pride when Molly eats a lot. She also seems to do much better when she self feeds as opposed to when I try to feed her. Messy, but worth it.

    I've been having such insomnia lately and I can TOTALLY relate to feeling resentful that the rest of the house is sleeping peacefully while I'm wide awake. Totally unfair!

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  2. So glad that things are going well!

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  3. So glad things are going better.

    Izzy didn't care too much about any stuff animal or lovey until more recently (plus we waited to have them in her crib with her until she was 1 yr I think?). Thankfully she doesn't carry them with her everywhere- just out of her crib and around her room- but maybe sometime soon. Then we have to start worrying about losing one!!

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  4. So glad the night weaning is working! I feel the same way about bed sharing. One, it's just easier. And two, some kids DO just have more trouble sleeping. A friend of mine has one-year-old twins. One co-sleeps, one is in her crib. Same parenting, different needs.

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  5. I haven't been great at commenting lately, but your last few posts have seemed to have a theme about you trying to be the "perfect" parent and learning that it isn't really a way to do that. I'm a bit of a perfectionist myself and I think it's probably hard to adjust to the fact that there's no "right" way to do something, there's only what's right for you and your child at that moment. I think you're doing great, if those pics of your beautiful baby are any indication!

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  6. I love wearing E in the wrap/carrier too and will miss it so much. I sometimes use it to get her to nap, though she'll only fall asleep in it if we're in our dark bedroom walking around (never outside on walks like when she was a little baby!).
    We bed share too. I'm hoping to transition her around 18 months to a bed in her room, but we'll see. She still wakes twice a night to nurse, but most nights it's manageable for me. I'd prefer night weaning, but letting her take the lead for now. Not sure I can nurse much longer anyway, sadly (milk is quickly disappearing).
    Paloma is lucky to have you as a mama. You're doing so great with her!

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  7. Do what works! That's how we get by. I actually regret being so adamant about no bed sharing. We have nights where one will wake up in the middle of the night and just be awake and want company. We are either in and out of bed for 2 hours or standing over the crib patting her butt. i keep wanting to just bring her to bed with us but it's such a novelty that she totally just wants to play and it wakes her up even more. So yeah. If bringing her to bed gets you all some sleep, then do it.

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