Tuesday, 28 April 2015

Daycare Called

Paloma turned 11 months old today. It's getting harder and harder to capture her monthly photos as she gets more mobile, but I managed to get this one today:



I've been planning on doing an annual photobook for her because I think it's a nice way to organize memories and to have something tangible. So this morning, during her nap, I uploaded a bunch of photos onto Snapfish. As they were uploading, my cellphone rang. I don't usually answer numbers I don't recognize, but this time I did. It was her daycare calling to tell me a spot was available for her to start on June 1st. I was totally caught off guard. I spoke to them only a few weeks ago and they told me to be prepared that she may not even have a spot in August. I thought I'd be calling my boss and asking for another extension of my maternity leave. For her to leave me in a few weeks? That's something I was definitely not ready for.

I called Andres sobbing. I could barely get the words out that her daycare had a spot for her in June. We arranged to stop by later that afternoon and I spent the rest of the day crying on and off. I don't know why it upset me so much when I had been hoping all along that she'd have a spot in July so I could slowly get her accustomed to her new life before dropping her off on my first day of work on August 1st. June 1st is only 4 weeks earlier than what I had been hoping for. (And $800 more expensive....) I let myself cry. Of course it's going to be a huge adjustment, why shouldn't I be sad to give up my time with her? It occurred to me that it's been ages since I last cried. When we were in the trenches of infertility it felt like I cried on a weekly basis.

We toured the daycare centre and I have to admit it was nice. They separate the kids into four rooms by age group. In the baby room there are 12 babies between the ages of 12 & 18 months. Each baby has their own crib and is assigned a primary caregiver. Each caregiver is responsible for 3 kids. They will allow us to use cloth diapers and to send food for her on the days when the menu has something I don't like. (Which seemed to be often.) If I have another baby and pull Paloma from the daycare while I'm on maternity leave, both kids would go to the top of the waiting list when my leave is over. It's not perfect, but nothing will be.

So I will start to bring her to daycare regularly for the next couple months before I head back to work in August. I know she will be fine and that she will adjust. I know she will have more than a few rough naps before she figures things out but I am still so choked up about this that I can hardly sleep or think about anything else! But as sad as this whole situation makes me, I can't help but think how lucky I am to even be in this situation. It doesn't feel like long ago when I would have given anything to be agonizing over these parental woes.

10 comments:

  1. You know, I am jealous of your Canadian maternity leave, but in a way I think it makes things harder - now you are so used to being with her 24/7 that it really will take more of an adjustment. I don't envy you that transition! I remember being miserable in the weeks leading up to going back to work, but trust me, she will be happy there and will socialize with the other kids and have a blast. Especially now that she's getting older and can play. It's funny, Molly gets so happy when we arrive at my sister's house and immediately gets on the floor and starts playing. Doesn't care one bit that I'm saying goodbye! I thought that would bother me and make me jealous, but I want what's best for her, and right now that's the situation we are in.

    Isn't it funny how much less often you cry? I think about that a lot too. I do cry pretty often still, but never sad crying, mostly wistful "she's growing up," "that song is so beautiful," or "I just love her so damn much." No more sad tears!

    Good luck, and let us know how it goes. I think that's great that you have a few weeks to transition slowly rather than just doing a full time week all at once. That should definitely help.

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  2. Aww I know it's going to be hard but it will be good for her to interact with other babies. She will help her to build up her social skills.

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  3. This was one of the hardest things for me to do. It was even harder with Lilah because of her heart. We want to spend all the time with our babies, but sometimes it isn't an option. Your place sounds great and I know that even with the huge cost, it is worth every single penny. They are amazing with our girls. I love the fact you are slowly transitioning her and I bet she will do great after she has adjusted!

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  4. Awww. This will be me (if we have a spot!) in August. The facility sounds great but it is a huge transition even under the best of circumstances. Sending lots of support and hugs! I'm sure you and Paloma will do great, but remember even if it doesn't work as planned, it's not the end of the world and you will figure things out.

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  5. I have to say that it is so awesome that you have a year maternity leave in canada! I have absolutely no idea how anyone gets through sending their 2 or 3 month old babies to daycare. I'm so glad I didn't have to worry about that! It's also awesome that you will be able to transition her, rather than just going for it first day back to work! I probably would have been like you and cried my eyes out at getting an unexpected phone call saying there was a spot a whole month early though!

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    1. P.S. She is so adorable! Look at her standing like a big girl!

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  6. Paloma is so adorable!

    Like Amanda said, daycare is going to be great for her. She is going to have tons of time to socialize and you are really going to cherish nights and weekends. It will be good for you too!! You never know how Paloma will act when she starts daycare- it may not be a big deal for her and she'll be excited to meet some new friends.

    You can do this!

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  7. It is so hard. One of the hardest things you will ever do. It will never seem like right. Monday's and days after a long holiday break will seem like torture, as if returning to work isn't bad enough. But one day it will get easier. You will fit it into your routine and she will learn to love it. You will watch her learn so much and make friends. You will see how much her teachers love her and you will know it's good enough. Hugs my sweet friend. It is hard. You are strong. You will persevere. Xoxo

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  8. I'm on a bunch of waitlists and I'm already getting worried. I even called around this week to book a bunch of viewings and am stressing because none of them called me back! I can't believe how hard it is to get day care. I know it's going to be hard for you to let go of your little one, but it sounds like she'll be in great hands.

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  9. It's so great you have some time to transition and get her (and you!) used to it. She will have a great time playing with the other kids all day. It will be much harder for you than for her. Some days are harder than others to leave and go to work, but you can do this. I also find some days are easier and I am so happy to be out talking to adults in sentences more complex than "look at the red cup" :)

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