Tuesday, 10 March 2015

A Letter From A Friend

OMG look at me posting two days in a row! Except I can't really take credit for this one. I'm just sharing a letter a girlfriend sent me a few days ago. I asked her if I could share it with all of you because I feel like her words may strike a chord with some of you as much as it did me. It meant so much to me that she took the time to write me this letter even though we haven't hung out in ages. One thing I've been noticing lately is that it's not always the people you are expecting to be there for you who show up and send you some much needed love and support when you need it most.

Hey! I know you likely have many people in your life to confide in and receive advice from, so I don't want you to think that I'm sitting here on my soap box trying to tell you anything. That's not my intention. Instead, I just want to express an outsiders perspective. I love reading your blogs. Reading is equally as therapeutic as writing for me. Plus, I love watching your little one grow. She is such a beauty. In the second picture from your most recent blog, you both have the same head tilt - it's absolutely adorable. I've noticed somewhat of a trend in your writing lately. As a fellow writer, I know that most of what we write is our true feelings. You're painting a picture of your life from your perspective for the reader. Having also the privilege of knowing you in person gives me the advantage of knowing that you're all the things you mention you wish you could 'be more like' than you give yourself credit for. I'm not trying to be critical with this, I want to more-so to be encouraging, so please keep that frame of mind when reading this. Striving to be the best version of yourself is something I try and do daily. It's tiring. Sometimes I feel like I'm reaching for a goal that I'll never achieve. Sometimes, from your writing, I notice that you are striving to be the best Mama you can and provide the best parenting for your little sweetie. Without actually being a Mom, I still know very well that the role of Mom is one of the hardest things to be. You only want what's best but so much is completely out of your control. You sometimes seem too hard on yourself in your writing. I think I get it though. You're expressing these uncertainties in writing just to get them out. I do the exact same thing. Sometimes just getting our fears and frustrations out on paper (or page) is enough to keep going. I just want you to know that despite those uncertainties, you're an incredible Mom! I know for a fact that you're going to raise an amazing little human. She's going to have such a great perspective on the world and an open heart. Her sleeping patterns and eating habits may go back and forth from desirable to outright painstaking, but who she is as a person will never falter because she has you and Andino as parents. The love and light that I send to you during those sleepless nights or moments where you feel your patience is running on empty is also filled with a hope for you to be kind to yourself. To allow yourself to just be - without fitting into a mold or filling an expectation. I have no doubt that parenting is filled with doubt and fear. There's always that concern whether what you're doing will end up being a good or bad thing for Paloma's future. I don't think any Mom has it figured out or does what's best all the time - it's simply impossible. Sometimes you have to do what's best for you to do what's best for her too. You provide her with the things she needs for basic human survival and some days, that's enough! Give yourself a big hug for every 10 you give to her because you're doing great Mama!!!!

9 comments:

  1. What a sweet letter! Always wonderful to get support from a friend.

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  2. What a lovely letter! Thank you for sharing. You know ever since I started reading your blog you've been one of my role models - first for how you handled IF and then for how you parent. :-) As I read this and respond the thought in my mind is that perhaps it's not so much the details of what people DO that is important, but the energy and community they create around them.

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    1. Wow what a compliment, thank you so much! I have always admired you as well. You never seem to be negative - always looking for the silver lining. You also seem to be very calm when it comes to AJ, which is amazing!

      I totally agree, the energy and community that supports is is incredibly important. that's why it's hard to live in a society where you get basically no help at all raising your kids. My midwife was from Nigeria and she said she'd never have kids here because she couldn't do it without the support she had back home.

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  3. What a great letter. And I completely agree. None of us have all of the answers on parenting and what works with one kid may not work with another kid because we are all unique. You are doing a great job!

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  4. That's a very sweet letter from a friend who obviously cares about you very much. And she sounds super smart too, that's some solid advice.

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  5. Sounds like you have an amazing friend. And she's right. You're doing a great job!

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  6. What an amazing letter. Your friend has a beautiful way of saying you are doing an awesome job.

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  7. What a great letter. We all doubt ourselves as new parents so how great to get something so positive out of nowhere. She's right. You are doing a great job :)

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