Friday, 13 February 2015

On Balance

I've been thinking about the direction this blog is headed in. I started blogging in 2011 when we started out on our adoption journey and for the most part, I think I've blogged a few times a week (give or take) ever since then. I won't be able to keep up that pace anymore, but I'm not ready to say goodbye just yet. I've been working hard on my non-profit and also trying to learn French, so I don't have the time to devote to blogging like I did in the past. I do want to find the time to fit it in though and I thought about setting aside one day a week to write, but I just hate the thought of my whole day/week being planned like that... not to mention, I can only write when I have something worth saying! Unfortunately it's becoming obvious that if I want to get anything done, I need to plan. I can't tell you how many times I've put Paloma in her crib, made a cup of tea and browsed for a recipe to make, only deciding on what to do with my free time moments before she wakes up. I'm just not an organized person by nature and it's been a really hard adjustment for me to start planning - even loosely - my time.

It's only been 3 weeks since I last wrote, but it feels like it's been so much longer. There were a few nights when I lied in bed and composed eloquent posts in my mind, but then I never found the time to sit down and write them. Or, maybe I never wrote them because sleepless nights are so long and by the time I woke up the following morning, the words were gone. I've often thought of keeping a little journal by my bed to record my dreams and those little inspirations that only seem to come during half-awake states, but I love those foggy moments and I'm not sure I want to disturb them by getting up and writing. Maybe they aren't meant to be kept anyway... It reminds me of when I'm constantly second guessing myself whenever I take out my camera while having a moment with my family or to capture a beautiful scene while travelling - should I just be in the moment without trying to immortalize it by taking a photo or writing it down? Usually, I try to strike a balance between capturing the moments in a tangible way and saving them in my memories. Andino is a better photographer than me, but he never takes a photo unless I ask him to. He definitely prefers to just be in the moment without having photographic evidence, but he was all too happy that I captured this sweet father-daughter music moment the other day.


The main way I balance photo taking is by setting aside time every month or two to take photos instead of taking photos every single day. Recently, we did a little winter photo shoot:




Aside from balancing my time, I've also been struggling with balancing my mind. Since Christmas, Paloma's been having a lot of sleepless nights due to teething, milestones/growth spurts and sickness. My stress and preoccupation about her sleep and eating habits have been through the roof and although I want more than anything to be the relaxed, calm and confident Mom that I feel like I was (for the most part) in the past, I've definitely not been accomplishing it. I find myself looking at other Moms and wondering why they seem to be able to go with the flow and I can't. I'm the one who is supposed to a hippy/gypsy Mama. Well at least that's what I strive to be, but the truth is that there have been many days where it seems like I've replaced stressing over becoming a Mom to stressing over being the kind of Mom I want to be... instead of just doing it! I don't want to be a stressed out person because I don't want Paloma to feel that energy in the house all the time. Plus, it's not beneficial to my own health or my marriage. Sure, I know there will be days and weeks where the family goes through stressful times, but I need to develop the tools to bring my mind and energy back to balance. I wish I was into Yoga/meditation but it's just not my cup of tea. 

Does anyone have any tips for planning and balancing? I'd love to hear them! 


6 comments:

  1. Oh man, I have no tips. I could have written the first part of this post myself about blogging. I just can't keep up like I used to in either my writing or reading. I still try though, because I love the people I've connected with along the way, like you! I also love having it as a journal of sorts for myself. I'm sorry you've been feeling so stressed out lately. Lack of sleep tends to do that! Sounds like you are better at balancing things out than you think you are, especially if you can consciously set aside the camera and reserve it for one big monthly photo shoot. I tend to be the opposite and take pictures almost daily. Paloma sure is getting big and more and more cute all the time!

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  2. As one of the most disorganized people alive I have no tips. I try to focus on one thing one day and something else the next and eventually... I still don't get everything I want done. Lol Just try your best.

    I love photo you took with Andino playing! It's so adorable!

    Maybe listening to some meditation or nature music could help you relax?

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  3. I'm struggling with that at the moment too. I think the best advice I got is scheduling time simply to do something for yourself. Whether that be enjoying a cup of tea while thumbing through a magazine/book or scheduling a weekly bath. At the moment, I've been working on getting in daily walks, with or without kids in tow. It's tough to do, but I know my soul is better for it.

    And I hear you on the teething. It's so hard to hear them cry out in pain in the middle of the night. Ugh.

    Beautiful photos. Paloma is getting so big! What a beautiful little girl you have.

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  4. I love these photos! What a sweet, beautiful little girl you have.

    No tips on balancing - I find I'm a happier mom when I'm sleeping and getting out alone once a week.

    We are in the same corner of the world, so I want to congratulate you on getting outside for photos! We made a snowman last week and I felt like I'd done my job as a prairie mom for the winter. We took a photoand have proof that we're good Canadian parents! Haha

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  5. Paloma is so cute! I love the photo of Andino playing guitar for her, B does the same for Hazy! I don't know if I have any advise for staying mellow...I think just listen to Paloma. If she seems happy then you're doing great! Some kids are good sleeper or good eaters and some take more time. Think of everything as her being developmentally ready or not ready. Some kids are developmentally ready to sleep in longer chucks or sleep on their own earlier than others. Same with food and everything else! There are so many opinions and books/blogs/groups etc and I say ignore them all. Just do what makes sense for everyone in your house at that moment. You don't like yoga??? I definitely think running/yoga/dance, really any movement, keeps me balanced.

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  6. Aw, I love the photos! Paloma looks wonderful. I am laughing a little as I read your line about how you only figure out what to do with your free time a few minutes before Paloma wakes up. I do the same thing except I actually know what I should be doing but often choose not to do it. I don't have any great advice on balance. I feel balanced at the moment but I think a lot of the time that is just luck, because the baby is being accommodating to some degree. Developmental stages have a lot to do with it too - based on what you say and others I expect to be a lot more frazzled when she starts teething. I guess something I do is remind myself that so much of this is new, I should expect it to feel uncomfortable and weird sometimes. I wear athletic clothes a lot because I expect to stress sweat. But I also remind myself that I am always learning too and what feels weird or awkward right now will soon be routine, so it's OK. I think the only kind of imbalance that you really should worry about is something that affects your health or sanity over a long period of time. How does Andino think you are doing? Sometimes we can be very judgmental of ourselves and it's good to get an outside perspective.

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