Tuesday, 9 December 2014

Our Hearts Are Walking Around The World

 believe it is possible for parents to have an energy connection with their kids that never goes away. 14 years ago, my older brother was in a terrible car accident in the middle of night. Around the same time it happened, my Mom woke up with a terrible feeling and couldn't get back to sleep. When the phone call came in that my brother had been in an accident, the person asked her a few times "Are you awake? I need you to be awake right now." My Mom was never more awake at 3am in her life. That terrible feeling she had was her baby (teenager at the time) in pain. The same night, my Dad was outback camping. He was exhausted from hiking (literally) all day long and was sound asleep in his tent, when he all of a sudden bolted upright in his sleeping bag with a terrible, sad feeling that something was wrong. He didn't have any cell phone service so my Mom wasn't able to call him and tell him the news, but he knew something had happened.

I don't think this connection only kicks in when it is something as terrible as a bad car accident. The first time my girlfriend left her daughter to be babysat, she put her to bed and left, hoping she would sleep until morning. Of course, her baby woke up and when she saw that her Mom wasn't there, she freaked out. My friend says she got a feeling when she was out that she had woken up and headed home right away. Last month while we were in Mexico, I left Paloma with Andino and my Dad while my Mom and I went to a spa for a few hours. I felt fine when we first left her, but about halfway through my massage I all of a sudden got a feeling like I knew she was crying right then. Sure enough, after we got back Andino said she was fine at first and he had taken her swimming and she was happy, but when they got back to the room and he tried to put her down for her nap she started scream-crying. Eventually my Dad took over rocking her and I think it took him about 20 minutes (or more) of rocking her before she finally gave up and passed out. Our connection to our babies is so strong that if you have a feeling like something is up, you are probably right...

The other night, I kicked off the fundraising for my non-profit Mamas 4 Mamas. Andino and I organized an acoustic music night at a local cafe. I had originally planned to bring Paloma with me and have her in my wrap, but since she was sick I thought it was a better idea to leave her with my girlfriend and her daughter (the same friend and baby from the story above.) When we showed up at my friend's house, Paloma was fine. She was playing on the floor with my friend's baby and was happy. I was relieved that she was in a good mood, because it would make it a lot harder to leave her if she was fussy. I didn't want to just sneak out without saying goodbye (I didn't think that would be fair to Paloma) so when it was time to go, my friend picked her up and walked me to the door. When I said bye bye (which I don't even think she understands yet, but who knows! I think babies understand a lot more than we give them credit for) she started pouting her bottom lip and reaching out to me. I got so anxious when I saw her do that I turned around and fumbled out the door. I was so anxious and I couldn't focus on my event for the first 45 minutes, but finally started to calm down while I was setting up, when my girlfriend called to tell me Paloma was fine and "she hasn't been crying for 10 minutes." or in other words, she cried inconsolably for 45 minutes after I left (which I confirmed when I picked her up.)

I know I'm a bit of a hippy, earth-lover, but I really believe that when our kids (babies or older) cry out for us we can feel them. I don't think this connection comes from the genetic link we may or may not share with our kids, but rather from the intense love we feel for them. It creates an energy connection from our heart to them. I remember hearing somewhere that once you have kids, you spend the rest of your life with your heart not just on your sleeve, but walking around the world.

6 comments:

  1. Oh...I'm sorry that Paloma cried so much after you left. Separation anxiety is normal for babies- maybe you should leave her a bit more often so that she can get more used to other people watching her (and so that you can get a break)? That is sort of the nice thing about daycare. Izzy has only had one "stranger danger" episode and otherwise is just fine with other people watching her (although the minute she sees me she throws up her arms, gives me a big smile and wants to be held). :-)

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  2. Aw! I'm so sorry Paloma was sad, but hopefully she will learn eventually that even when you are gone for a while you will come back! I think you are right about there being a connection. I haven't left AJ for a significant period of time (longest separation was when I had my hair cut...that was maybe an hour?). I will at some point have to leave her for an hour or two and it is weird to think about it.

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  3. I definitely believe in that connection. We are all just made up of energy, and I think that energy can be felt in an unexplained, but real way.

    I also think it's right to say "bye-bye" even if it sucks to do so. I think it helps with trust in the long run. I think your right, that babies are smarter than we think. Some of the smartest things I hear are from kids!

    Hopefully the next sitter session will go smoother!

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  4. Although I don't have kids yet I strongly believe in this. My mom always seems to know something is up before she can confirm it. I guess the feeling never goes away.

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  5. I believe in this connection too! How can you not be connected to a child who grew inside of you for 9 months?!? Sorry had had to move your blog. :(

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  6. I've come to believe in this connection over the years. For me it has worked in the opposite direction a few times- I'd get a feeling about my Mum... and find out she'd taken seriously ill. I work hard to have good communication with Pickle so I'm sure it will work between us as well.

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