Friday, 28 February 2014

Taking Charge and the Third Trimester

You guys. How is it possible that I am going to be in the third trimester in a few days? Wasn't it just a few weeks ago that I was so overwhelmed I hung up on the nurse who said the words I'll never forget?
"Congratulations, you are very pregnant!"

Things have been going so smoothly. After 2 years of spending every last bit of my emotional reserves on keeping it all together, I've delighted in the ordinary of the past 6 months. I took relaxing baths, read novels, tried new recipes, attempted to take up crochet (but it's been 6 months and I've still not finished the baby blanket I started so I realized that crochet is not my thing.) I didn't spend hours researching. Not only did I not research IVF or adoption programs, I also didn't research baby stuff. Other than my weekly email update from Baby Centre & Lucie's List and the occasional Pinterest article, I haven't researched baby advice at all. But now, the relaxation of the first two trimesters is starting to wear off and this is getting real. Baby girl's kicks are getting stronger and they are a constant reminder that she is coming soon. Her nursery is well underway and she has a name (unless we change it again!). I've started thinking of my pregnancy in terms of how many weeks are left rather than how many have passed. I suggested to my Manager that we hire my replacement soon (which was totally bittersweet because I love my job and it's going to feel so weird handing over the reigns to my program for a year.) With the arrival of the third trimester, I've started to focus on preparing and taking charge of my prenatal care.

I had my second appointment with my midwife on Tuesday and I was already asked to make some decisions for baby. She explained that newborns are routinely given an injection of Vitamin K after delivery to encourage blood clotting. She said it's important because Vitamin K does not pass to the baby through breast milk and asked for my consent. I was fine with this injection and readily gave my consent. She also asked for my consent to apply antibiotic eye ointment to prevent an eye infection that could be passed to baby if I had gonorrhea or chlamydia. To be honest, I really don't like the idea of the eye ointment and although I initially gave my consent I want to discuss it with her again during my next visit. After leaving, I did a little research and discovered that automatic erythromycin prophylaxis is no longer used in the United Kingdom, Australia, Norway, or Sweden and it made me second guess my consent. I don't like the idea of administering antibiotics to the baby 1 hour after birth especially considering Andino and I have been tested for STDs more times than I can remember over the last couple years because it was required for IVF. I chose a midwife because I wanted to feel empowered to take an active role in the decision making. Although I feel a little uncomfortable questioning her recommendation for the eye antibiotics, I am going to do it because it's what I think is best.

After discussing the newborn medications, she asked if we have a car seat to bring baby home from the hospital in ( we don't, but we still have so much time to get one, don't we?) and we briefly discussed how the delivery will be. She says she will come to our home and be with us until I reach 5-6 cm at which point we will go to the hospital to deliver. She discussed taking baths and nitrous oxide (laughing gas) as pain relief options. She didn't even mention an epidural which was fine with me since I don't plan to have one. Recently, I ordered Ina May's Guide to Childbirth from Amazon and I am really excited for it to arrive. As I said, now that I'm in the third trimester I'm ready to research and get prepared!

Oh and p.s. I updated my bump page again. I'm (finally) at the stage where it's completely obvious I'm pregnant which is quite exciting.

 

24 comments:

  1. Enjoy Ina May's book! I got it a few weeks ago on my kindle. While the book really helps confirm that our bodies are meant to do this (at least give birth if not get pregnant so easily), you have to giggle a little bit at some of the super hippie-crunchy language, particularly about orgasmic birth. This is coming from someone pretty crunchy so be prepared for at least a few eye rolls and laughs. I found the second half of the book (first half is all birth stories) to be the more helpful part.
    I too am in the countdown stage rather than counting up. Bizarre...

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  2. notpregnantandpissed28 February 2014 at 04:08

    Good points about the eye ointment...I this k I'm with you on this one. Read spiritual midwifery by ina may gaskin first/too! Its so good and the 70's lingo is hilarious! I am currently reading the guide to childbirth. I also read birth catcher (I forget by whom) which is about a midwife's career and all her stories.

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  3. So glad to see an update! And it sounds like you've had a nice healthy pregnancy! I too am skipping the eye ointment but am accepting the vitamin k. (I actually know someone who's grand baby died after not gettin it. So I know it is incredibly rare but hearin her personal story was powerful.). Wishing you a smooth and comfortable delivery! Try the Bradley method books too-good tips even if you don't do the classes.

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  4. Oh my gosh, orgasmic birth? That's taking it too far! haha... and I am a bit of a hippie myself but not that much! I'm sure it will be worth a read though...

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  5. Let me know what you end up deciding with the eye ointment. It's so easy to just go along with all the suggestions without really delving into it. My red flag did go up a bit when she explained the reason was to prevent complications to baby caused by STDs which is why I did a little more research and found that many people are deciding against it.

    I will definitely look into the other suggestions, thanks!

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  6. I'm glad to know someone else who is deciding against the ointment. I can understand the justification behind the vitamin K shot, but the antibiotics for the eyes really just didn't seem necessary.

    I've heard of the Bradley method, maybe I will check it out! nice to hear from you!

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  7. I agree. This shit is getting real. Last weekend I decided it was time to start reading a book about taking care of them when you become outside babies. You look fab! But if I saw you on the street, I would still just think you had a big lunch! You are going to be one of those "basketball" pregnant ladies - looks like all you have is a basketball under your shirt!

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  8. Love those bump shots!! You look so good!!!! Glad the midwife appts are going well!!! xoxo

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  9. Hey mama, Lola here. I forgot to ask you whether you and Andy plan on taking Sally's Elliot's class from the YMCA. Highly recommend. Great date night for you and Andino, plus she is hilarious and really informative.

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  10. I really admire the way you know exactly what you want and are making it happen. It's definitely a little crunchy for me (pain drugs? Yes please!) but to each their own. You're making this birth experience exactly what you always hoped and it's so exciting to think that it's coming up soon!

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  11. Which book are you reading? I also bought Bringing Up Bebe, I'm going to start it soon.

    And thanks so much, I feel like I don't have a lot of room left in there for food. I can only imagine how crowded you are with two in there! ;)

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  12. Thank you! I still feel good... hopefully that lasts until the end!

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  13. You mentioned Sally's classes a while back so I took your advice and registered. They start next week!

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  14. Yes, I definitely have a crunchy side - there's no denying it!

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  15. It's what we love about you! :)

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  16. I was wondering where you had been hen I stumbled upon ur new blog. So glad things are progressing with ur lil one. Looks like you are really getting involved in what's best for you during delivery etc.

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  17. I started a new blog when I got pregnant, glad you found me!

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  18. So happy to read that you are in a good place regarding these new, exciting decisions!

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  19. Thank you! I think it's important to play an active role in the decisions

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  20. I have been reading, but only now have I found a moment to comment! Wow, the 3rd trimester, it is going so fast!
    I did not read Ina May's book because her whole approach kind of scares me,... basically I feel *safe* when surrounded by medical professionals (I think this is very very personal and I do not mean to say this in a judgemental way, I perfectly understand someone having the exact opposite feelings as I have, and for childbirth I think the most important thing is that you are in a place where you feel comfortable and that you trust the people taking care of you). I did hear about her theory of having an orgasm while the baby comes out... I have trouble believing that could happen, but who knows? There are as many experiences as are women and we are all so different.

    Hmmm I really want to learn to crochet, but I am not sure if I will have the patience for it.

    I did not read a lot of advice either, other than the weekly updates of babycenter (which I loved), sometimes those of Alphamom, and my Pregnancy book * (which I highly recommend, so sane, clear, informative, undivisive, and without any agenda of it is us vs the others, which can be so damaging). As of know we are going by gut instinct, asking questions when doubts arise (mostly to our parents) and trusting the advice of the paeditrician and nurses / health center

    *"Your pregnancy week by week, by Lesley Regan"

    I wish you the smoothest of the 3rd trimester! So exciting!

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  21. Emily (eatloveprocreate.blogspot.com)3 March 2014 at 01:33

    I think I must have lost track of you for a while if you switched blogs, but I found ya! I can totally understand procrastinating on learning about pregnancy and babies. Becoming an infertility expert can be so exhausting that by the time some of us make it to pregnancy, we are just so damn tired of learning everything! I’ve decided I’m going with the flow for pregnancy and childbirth and focusing more of my brainpower on learning how to make sure the baby survives once it gets here. ha! Being a FTM, that’s the more overwhelming part to be honest!

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  22. Thanks so much for taking the time to comment! I know you are a very busy Mama these days :)

    I 100% agree with you. The most important thing is that the woman feels comfortable in her surroundings (in fact Ina May says that a lot.) I knew I wouldn't feel as comfortable in a hospital with people I'd never met before which is the main reason I switched to a midwife. Definitely to each his own though, which is what makes the world go round!

    And yes, I really believe that the most easy-going approach is to go by instincts and to take each day as they come. I think reading too many books could get overwhelming. Not to mention they are usually giving conflicting advice!

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  23. I'm so glad you found me!

    I think going with the flow is the best approach. I'm sure you will be a great Mom :)

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  24. I love that you are at this point! It's almost as if you were cruising along and enjoying the pregnancy, but not quite believing it at the same time. All your ideas and plans sound good and I can't wait to hear more, like the name you've picked out! I'm sure you're probably waiting until you introduce your little one, which I am so excited to "meet." Good luck with the third trimester. I hope it's as smooth as the rest of your pregnancy has been.

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